September 17, 2018

Moving On!

Relationships and the past!

Is crazy to think of how fast a year can go by. Around exactly a year ago, I found myself stuck in what I like to call the darkest days of my life. From being emotionally unstable to even being financially ruined. It took a lot of self-talk and self-confidence to stand up for myself and move on.

If you take a look back at most of my outfit editorials from early this year, you can tell that I've been focusing in re-adjusting my life by getting myself into new and healthy habits, being creative in my own unique way and most importantly, do what makes me happy. But you probably might be asking why? I have always say that is never too late to start something new, start new habits or anything that might affect your life in positive ways. But for me, it was more than just wanting positive changes, it was my first break-up.

I have heard it from many, many, many people, your first break-up is always the most hurtful one. And, believe me, it was and it has been till this day. Even though it has been over a year, the consequences that I have gotten out of my last relationship, it has gotten me to understand that it was toxic for both parties. Looking back at it, I wish I had the balls to move on as soon as the other person told me to, but I don't believe in failers. I wanted to proof to us and proof the world, when you want something and work hard for it, you can achieve anything. But unfortunately, the goal wasn't the same for both of us, to the point I found myself falling over and over. 

When I was in high school, I remember a moment when a group of friends completely ignored me during lunch time. Later on, it was announced publicly that I have won a filming competition my school was hosting. The price was quite big at the time and the number of people that started talking to me again after that announcement not only open my eyes on how fake people can be but also in how good it felt to be successful in something. Looking back at my last relationship, it took me back to that moment of being ignored. Not only it hurt but this time there was no happy announcement to save the day. Instead, more blame and reasons were given as an excused. After three months of living like that, I took a moment to look at myself and tell myself that I am more than what I am. Decided to stop, and take that one step I was scared of taking. 

Weeks later of not seeing this other person, I got a phone call while running on a treadmill from one of my clients. He mentioned that he was invited to a gala event and for personal reasons, he couldn't be able to attend the event. Because he saw me at the same gala event in the previous year, he wanted me to go to this event under his representation. I was honored for the invitation and decided to go. At this gala event, I saw the person who just a few weeks ago previous this event I thought it was the world for me. I wasn't too sure what to expect but nothing positive was for sure. Just like before, this person complete ignored me throughout the whole event. Even to the point that we were dancing with other people back to back. This time I didn't feel hurt, this time I felt the same way I felt after that announcement in high school was made. It reminded me of how fake people can be, but also how amazing it felt to be successful enough to have a client sending me under their representation into an event. 

Today, I can't lie and say that I can be looking back at those moments and not feel any kind of way. Is true, remembering is reliving, and I don't find anything wrong with that if the moments you're remembering are the ones that made you happy. For this Outfit Look Editorial, I'm back to what I consider the island of love, Roosevelt Island, NY. Not only I like to come here to relax, but also I like to come here and remember good times. Not only the good times from previous years but mostly good times of this year alone. This year I have learned that love doesn't need to come from one person only, it can come from many others like family and friends. Thanks to them, they have created new memories in my life and make this island my island of love. 

Like I mentioned before, things happen for a reason, and I can't be mad at life for what it has taught me in over a year. I also can't blame those friends in high school who ignored me because without them I wouldn't have felt the way I did after the announcement was made. I also can't hate or blame that person who till this day, still ignores my presence in this world because thanks to that person I can now say I have fallen in love, I can say I have been in a relationship and most importantly, I can say I have someone one there who hates my guts. But most importantly, thanks to that person, I got to realize the value of myself and the wonderful things I can manage to do, all I can do is to Just Go, and continue moving on! 


Forever 21 Pink Polo 

Forever 21 Pink Skinny Pants 

Zara Light Brown Dress Shoes 

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