July 27, 2020

The Bad Nicer

Am I too nice?

Have ever you tell yourself, "I need to stop being nice"? Yeah, I tend to tell myself that every few months. And recently, I asked myself why? Why do I tell myself that & what about being nice is bad? Feeling my own bad-boy vibe, am I too nice? 

After being under self-quarantine for over two months, I decided to get myself back out into this unknown world we live in today. Though I didn't leave the house often and didn't see many of my friends and family members during the quarantine. It did bring me closer to many of them and even brought some new people into my life in which I had the chance to see and hang out with since my self-quarantine ended. 

I normally describe myself as the kind of person who's often down for whatever, well known for my good social skills and planning strategies. Besides that, I'm also known for my career and creative work. In the last three years, I've been aware of my skills and talents to the point I now embrace them and use them on a balance timing. Instead of just keeping everything for myself, I like to share my success and creativity with those who are close to me. But sometimes doing that leads others to take more than what they give and even sometimes move-on on their own without a look back. We know life sucks sometimes and there's just no other way to change the past but we do have the power to build our future. But situations like these can make you lose hope on a lot of things and question your ability to share, give, and trust others. This is the moment I ask myself, am I too nice? I'm sure I can not be the only one who has debate this question with themselves. After a lot of thinking, I realized we live in a world where most of us are only looking out for ourselves. Isn't about take and give anymore, but to take and hope someday to give back if there's anything left. Without even thinking, most of us do it without even realizing it till its too late. 

I used to be like that before, till I realized that's not the person I wanted to be because I know how it feels to give and not be given any creditability for our thoughts, work, or time. When someone does something kind and went beyond their time for me, I try to even out the favor or give something back as a good gesture. And when I do something nice for someone, I don't expect anything back. But lately, I have noticed some people have been using me not only for my kindness but for my social skills, work, and creativity and that's where I, unfortunately, have to cut the line. Lucky for me, life gives me the opportunity to see the right things before they get worse. I've been called bad, mean, rude, and careless when I try to defend my kindness but I won't let those words ruin the good in me. So to answer my own question, am I too nice? And the answer is yes! I am too nice and I love that about me. I think more people should be like that. Like I mentioned before, we live in a world where most of us are just looking after ourselves, but I'm sure something 2020 has been trying to teach us is that looking out for ourselves isn't just enough. 

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