August 31, 2020


Now I got an ice-cold heart!

For many years, I have been asking myself about my ability to love. As I experience more of this cold world day by day, I'm curious to know if my cold heart could be turned warm? But also being a tough lover, can it be worth it?

Currently, I'm writing this post thousand of feet in the air traveling to my next destination. Not going to lie, I've been feeling vulnerable the last few days to the point it feels uncomfortable but quite well. I'm currently on a lovely trip all by myself, and without any planning, I found something I didn't know I was looking for. And that something was a reminder of how good it felt to be with someone that makes you feel comfortable, passionate, and romantic. 

I've been told to be a tough lover almost all my life and I have often considered myself to be cold-hearted till I had my first relationship. Though it ended many years ago and taught me many lessons, it turned my heart into a glacier. Regardless of how cold my heart has been in the last few years, I have taught myself how to be kinder, patient, and a listener with not only myself but others as well. 

In recent events, I opened up myself to people who I trusted and believed in, but now I feel numb when I hear their names. Then I was alone miles away far from the cold. I found myself in a warm place, without any plans, without any expectations or ideas in mind I found a feeling I once felt before. Have I found the fire that could melt my cold heart? or have I found the cooler that will maintain my heart colder? After all, I can be icy. 

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